Red gravy made easy

First of all, I'm not Italian. I dated an Italian bird for a short time but never ate her mother's cooking.

Through the years I have been a bit of a red gravy guru. At least in my own mind! As Tom Waits says, "I've wined, dined, sipped and supped in some of the most demonstrably beamer epitomable bistros...." Likewise I've had some downright raunchy red gravys and also some of the most memorable meals topped by a tasty topping of what I considered quite competent red gravies.

What the hell is a red gravy? Some of you may know it better as spaghetti sauce. Without sounding snobbish, spaghetti sauce is a tragic misnomer. Really, spaghetti sauce is what you buy in a can or jar. That's a shame really. The small time spent preparing a proper red gravy is well worth the effort. And it's easy.

Some will argue it's a time-consuming, all-day affair. Certainly you could make it such but it's not necessary. I do recommend that red gravy is prepared in a large batch and proportioned properly for whatever serving size you think is appropriate. It's like soup, prepare the day prior and serve the next.

When I first began making my own red gravy, I insisted on using fresh, plum tomatoes and making it one of those long, lenghty love affairs lasting the better part of an afternoon. In recent years though, I've found that quality canned crushed tomatos work just fine without sacrificing the final product. In addition, I've taken to adding chopped clams and a reduction of white wine or white vermouth and clam juice. The suggerimento de mer adds something I prefer though you may not.

After you get the base down, experiment with various herbs and spices that you think may be appropriate. Some will suggest fresh herbs only at serving time. Use your own judgment I guess. The only warning is that if you use fresh herbs in the simmer, be sure it's just that, a simmer. Don't let the gravy boil. Me, I mainly use dried herbs in the gravy and top the final product with a generous dose of fresh, chopped basil and/or whatever feels right.

Calamari meatball experiment fails again

It's been what, six months since I tasted the goodness of the calamari meatballs at The Daily Catch. Since then it has been a personal mission to figure out just how they do it. When I was there last July, I asked the kind waitress what was in them. She said, "just calamari." I was guessing there might be ground veal in there too but she insisted it was just calamari and herbs and spices.

Okay, let's run with that. A few months ago I bought some whole calamari and made an attempt. At the time I didn't have a grinder so I substituted a food processor. Bad idea. The processor rendered the squid a gooey mess. Instead of acquiesing, I forded ahead. After adding some herbs and spices, egg whites, and too much bread crumbs, I did my best to form a ball out of the gloppy stuff, dropped it in a pot of boiling water and ended up with a strangely shaped blob of boiled squid. It resembled nothing I had seen before(click for a pic of the real thing).

Fast forward to yesterday.

Picked up five pounds of whole squid (beaks removed) at the only real Italian market in Miami, Laurenzos. I am now on an OCD mission. I will not be denied. Before I got started, I tried to find some fine Italian opera music. Puccini would be inspirational. Couldn't find it so just ran with the classical selection on XM or whatever is piped in through the cable. With the coarse blade installed, I ran it through the KitchenAid grinder and voila. I got ground calamari.

Great. Now where do I go from here? Let's add the appropriate meatball stuff. Some herbs, some spices, egg whites, some Laurenzos Own italian bread crumbs, some minced onion. The typical stuff. Just like the waitress said, "whatever you put in meatballs goes in, just use ground calamari instead of meat." Only now I am armed with a little more intel than what I had the first time. I was tipped off that after forming the balls, they are dropped into a fryer. Okay, makes sense. Maybe. I'll try that.

So now it's time to fire up the fryer. Despite beginning the project full of optimism, skepticism is now creeping in. No...it's not creeping in, it's done moved right in and brought along the wife and kids! The mixture still resembles an amoeba. With serious doubt peering over my shoulder, I drop a few into the hot oil.

The oil does what it does when cold, wet food hits hot fat, it begins that violent, furious dance trying to rid itself of the invader that it hates so much, water.

And therein lies the problem. This mixture was simply way too moist for the fryer. The vaporizing water created such commotion that it literally tore apart what only loosely resembled a meatball. I'm not even sure these things would qualify as fritters.

So here's what I do in an attempt at salvage. I take the goop that's left, toss it in a loaf pan and into the oven at 350-400. When it's done, I'm left with a chunk of calamari meatloaf that has lost about a third of it's size, perhaps a little more. Glad I tried that. I now know that the squid must somehow be dried prior to mixing the ingredients for the meatballs.

Back to the drawing board? Not really. Just need to tweak a portion of the procedure. And I'll be back.

UPDATE: After thinking about this and looking at the pic of the original, I'm not really convinced that the real thing is deep fried. The outer skin texture just doesn't look like it has been submerged in hot oil.